Traveling With Your ADD Children

How can you travel comfortably on summer vacations with your ADD child? It's certainly not easy and of course, its not totally possible. No vacation is going to go without a hitch, but there are some things you can do which will increase the amount of enjoyment you all have and perhaps minimize frustration.

First of all think! Get your expectations in order and prepare ahead of time. Vacations are tricky like holidays as far as what you start expecting. You may begin to think, "Isn't this going to be fun!" or "I've been waiting three months for a little time off." or "I'm going to be sure to make the most of these two weeks in Wisconsin." You may be setting yourself up for a big crash and lots of irritability.

The problem is that many of us start expecting vacations and holidays to be extra special and extra fun, and then when they're not we simply get extra disappointed and angry. So think back to past vacations: what have they really been like? That is what you should expect. Also think back to which vacations were more successful and which were more aggravating. Did the kids drive you crazy on long car rides, but then do ok the next year when you rented the house on the lake for a week? It might be best, in planning a vacation, not to start by deciding where you really want to go, but rather to begin by deciding what type of experience your family tolerates best.

Of course you can't always avoid difficult situations with ADD kids, like plane or car rides and family reunions. But you can anticipate problems and prepare, rather than just hopping in and taking off. Does medication help? Then be sure to bring it along and discuss with the child some non-embarrassing way to administer doses. Do this before problems start, rather than later as a kind of punishment. Do the kids have certain books or games you can bring along to help pass the time? Or perhaps you can buy new ones to be used as a surprise from time to time on long trips.

For long car, train or plane rides, don't forget the value of bribery! That's right, BRIBERY. Actually, the true definition of bribery is paying someone to do something illegal. Here we pay the kids to do something right. Look at it this way: you're going to give the little monsters spending money for the trip anyway, right? So make them earn it. For every 15-30 minutes they last without fighting in the car or whatever, they get a quarter toward their spending money. But they either both get it or both lose it.

Another great way to avoid unnecessary conflicts while traveling is the "divide and conquer" rule. As many of you know, ADD children often do much better in one-on-one situations than in groups, and many of them show their worst behavior when with the whole family. So split the kids up every now and then. If you're at Disney World, have Dad take one (or two) kids and Mom one and do things separately for a while. Kids like having a parent to themselves, and its also a lot easier to decide what to do or where to eat when the group is smaller.

Finally, as a parent, remember to take some quiet mental health time alone now and then. Leave the motel and go for a long walk or out to eat by yourself. Don't feel you have to spend every minute of the vacation with the family. (If you feel guilty, blame it on this article.) In fact, strenuous physical exercise is a great way of staying in shape, blowing off steam, and maintaining one's mental health. If your motel has a pool or exercise room, use them!

Dr. Phelan is a psychologist practicing in Carol Stream, Illinois. He is also the parent of an ADD child. Dr. Phelan is the author of 1-2-3 Magic, and the founder of the Illinois Association for Hyperactivity and Attention Deficit disorders (IHADD). He is also a founding member and serves on the Board of Directors of ADDA, the newly structured national association.