ADD Bits and Pieces
from my Prodigy Friends

An ADD couple was watching T.V. one evening. Ethel said, "Henry, get a piece of paper, I want to tell you a few things I want from the store."

Henry asked, "How many things do you want?" (E) "Three." (H) "I can remember that!" (E) "Yeah, sure, just get a piece of paper willya?" (H) "Just tell me what you want or I ain't goin'." (E) "O.K., I want vanilla ice cream". (H) Geez, anyone could remember that!" (E) "I'd feel better if you'd write it down." (H) "Will you stop already?! You're such a nag! What else do you want?" (E) "I want some chocolate syrup." (H) "So what's the problem - the chocolate syrup goes on the ice cream, . . any idiot could remember that." (E) "Yes, but if you would just jot it down..." (H) "You're driving me crazy! What's the third thing?" (E) "I want cherries." (H) Come on, the cherries go on the syrup that goes on the ice cream . . a 3 year old could remember this!"

Henry leaves, is gone for three hours, and returns with nothing but a ham sandwich. Ethel unwraps the sandwich, looks at Henry in total disbelief and says, "Now just look at this; YOU FORGOT THE MUSTARD!"

Well, speaking of accommodations, my son has set his sights quite high. With all of your help, I think I might be able to deal with the "school thing".

I don't think I can meet Christopher's request to change the physical laws of the universe, though. He HATES to go to bed and one night when he was 4, upon being requested to scoot to bed, he said with a sigh, "Oh Mommy, can't you make the Earth turn very fast at night and very slowly during the day?" If I thought this might stop his bedtime problems . . .

I'm reminded of when I was teaching a class of 12 ADD/LD junior highers a few years ago. We began the year with all students classified as LD, and five students diagnosed with ADD as well. Soon, as more info went home and we got to know the students better, four more kids were diagnosed ADD. In the spring I finally got my diagnosis and began taking Ritalin, too. When the school secretary came to my class at noon with water and meds, she handed me a cup, as she knew I needed to take my meds, too. One of the students came over very concerned and asked, "Mrs. Z, are you SURE this ADD stuff isn't contagious???"

All mothers are physically handicapped. They only have two hands.

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.

It is hard to raise a family especially in the morning.

To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup:

1. Whenever you're wrong admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Never lend people money; it gives them amnesia.

The trouble with someone who talks too fast is that they often say something they haven't thought of yet.

Circumstances are like a feather bed; comfortable if you are on top, but smothering if you are underneath.

I was just talking to another ADD mom on the phone. She told me she was at a luncheon recently and overheard this conversation, "My son was just diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I just don't understand . . . We play plenty of attention to him!"

Everything Started, Nothing Completed

Everything started, Nothing completed,
Not one thing on the list deleted!

Through ev'ry day I've rushed and speeded
The rat race only gets more heated

Everywhere I turn I'm needed,
Ev'ry thought And plan's impeded!

My tolerance level Has been exceeded,
My energy level has been depleted

And I feel totally defeated . . .
OH, EXPLETIVE!!!! (oops . . . expletive deleted!)